The WHOLE Truth?

"Do you solemnly swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help you God?"

In this day in age, how do you know someone is telling you the whole truth? Even I have to admit that it is easier to tell a half truth then the whole truth and nobody is the wiser. What if you had to do a lie detector if someone didn’t believe what you were saying and how reliable is that?

“The courts have long favored the Christian book of faith as the ultimate symbol of truth. For a Christian, to swear on it means that to tell anything other than the truth in testimony is a blasphemy and a sin before God that will be taken into account on Judgment Day. "

Of course, telling the truth is not the easiest course of action to follow. On the contrary, telling the truth is often difficult, and frequently places us in circumstances that are quite unpleasant.

From working with co workers to your boss…how far does it go? Keeping secrets (half truths) from your spouse. But sometimes I feel like I’m protecting my husband from what is REALLY going on in my mind. Because the TRUTH sometimes scared me. I real find I just want to go back to being innocent or naive…but now my eyes have been opened and I can’t seem to turn off the switch to forget what I don’t want to face!

Examples are easy to find!

Take Out vs Leftovers

You know it's getting bad when you open your frig and you have lots of take out boxes and leftovers (some are growing...I don't open them...I just throw it out) So when I do cook...I don't know how much to fix. It's just my husband and me but I think I cook for at least 4 people. (I only eat about half a single portion... Ok...I know it's part of my co dependent needs and that you feed your man until he's happy. If you look at my husband, I've fed him too much. I know I'm partly to blame.

So every night on my way home from work...I call "What do you want for dinner?" Tonight was tamales...

Pretending to be....

Ok...Today is just another Saturday or is it....I physically feel just fine. I don't like that it's hot outside but that's not something within my control. The morining I was asked to do a favor....pick someone up for tonights meeting. That would imply that I'm going, I have to be there ontime...I have to socialized (even if it's only in the car....) and I have to stay until it's over (so I can take her home....this means I can't skip out of small group.) The only bright concept is I don't have to sit downstairs...I'll still do the powerpoint from the balconey.

So am I pretending or it everything really ok...I guess I'm confused or is this just normal?

Miscellaneous

10 “New” Nails
Oh the fresh new set of 10 nails. All clear, shinny and white….not the yellowing. Within the last 5 days I lost 3 nails so I had to get a new set…but it’s about time because I’ve had this set since the end of January.

Boom Box
Ok…I stopped in the local QuikTrip to get my addicted ice tea. When I pull into the parking lot, there were just a few cars…ok I’ll admit, I usually just take my keys in and just enough money leaving my purse in the car. I know, one of these days I’m just asking for more trouble….but that’s beside this point and another bloget…when I got out of the store, there in front of the store was a car (not even a muscle car/sports) that had all its windows down and some thumping rap music with nobody inside….the person had gone into the store not only leaving it open but leaving the keys in with the radio blasting…how is that not taking such a big chance or am I just thinking Tulsa isn’t ready for a small crime like stealing a car out of a QuikTrip but what do I know?

Gossip Girls
I’ve actually watched a little bit about the news these days…an interesting expose was about teenage books for girls….As a teenager, I actually loved to read this young adult stuff. Back in my days it was the Judy Bloom series that was the “no-no” on the shelf. (especially the book “Forever”) We used to pass the books around without adults knowing it…just banning it made us want to read it more.

You expect to see adult themed books in the adult section of your
library or bookstore., but a series of books about the lives of young adults---filled with money, sex and drugs, are specifically being written and marketed to teens and pre-teens. They're called "The Gossip Girls". And they're far from the innocent Nancy Drew books that kids read years ago.

The characters in "The Gossip Girls" lead, what some psychologists say, are unhealthy lifestyles without moral consequence. However, one expert says these stories are not far from today's pop culture, even though they're doing more harm than good.

So what is the draw….I think it’s really like the last sentence “…these stories are not far from today's pop culture…” How do you stop your daughter from reading it? I’m not sure you can! Even I admit I read things that I know my parents wouldn’t approve….but as a almost 40 year old I’m tempted to see what these books are about and why are they really being marketed to younger girls. Boy has times change...but I think if your a parent, you should openly talk to your pre-teen, teen about it in the open. Even if they roll thier eyes...you might not stop them from reading it but they might see the morality of the book...hopefully

Flying "Free"

Oh to be on the edge and not sure if I should jump and fly or turn around and run.

It's wierd to have your nose itch or the back of you neck...but once itch...it is like the itch manifast in another place but always comes back to the nose...

Eve's Beauty

6 long stem 1/2 inch roses...2 white, 2 pink, 2 peach

I sometime forget with everything going on around me; how stressful I let others and worries fill up my thoughts....but for one moment in this day, I felt overwhelmed joy when delivered to my desk was a bouquet of roses....with the card:

No matter what happens, I love you more everyday

Now my husband isn’t a very outward person but today, he showed me that I’m still a big part of his life…which makes me feel: cared for, appreciated, & unconditionally loved.

What more could I ask for?

Nail Pressure

As the night progress and the days events replay over and over...I lose one nail with nine more to go....

Miscellaneous Thoughts

Pet Peeves
Why does it seems that “old” people love to “drive” in the left lane…they are “driving” barely 55 mph in a 65 mph and of course the left lane tends to be just a “little” faster for “us” younger drivers….don’t get me wrong I really don’t speed but I hate to behind someone going slow especially in the left lane…that makes everyone pass them on the right…like that’s really safe.

Tree Trimming
Well I guess I was wrong (yes I do admit it sometimes). It looks like the cause of the satellite was the backyard tree. Since it the leaves have grown out…but mostly the branches are heavier but mostly there are some dead ones that need to be cut out….oh well, what’s a couple of dollars later.

Rose Bushes
What I thought was a great idea at the time….has taken over 4 weeks to plant. Two yellow rose bushes…I thought they would be nice to have in the backyard. So one day started out with digging a hole. Then a couple days later…I get a bag of potting soil. Then dug a little more on the hole. Actually, I did more beating the dirt then actually digging. It was very therapeutic…(I’m sure some will be happy with that activity)…So yesterday…I went out and planted both bushes. I put them along the fence about 18 inches apart. I hope they take….I did extra stuff (they miracle grow soil plus 2 bags of potting soil.

Kitty in a “tree”
It’s not like the first time Heidi has gotten out in the backyard. She seems to like to do escape when I let Josie out for the last time of the night before we go to bed. But the other night I didn’t even see her get out. It must have been at least 15 minutes that I notice that I didn’t see Heidi. Josie was already in our room….so I started checking every room….Heidi tends to hide...go figure. I even checked out in the garage…but no sign….that’s when my husband started blaming me that I must of let her outside. So once again, I’m out in the backyard, in my pajamas, with a flash light looking around. I really doubted I was going to find her. I looked through the bushes and she really can’t climb the tree (no front claws). So I’m over by the trash can and I hear Brent….Heidi eventually, came to the door after I went out and he let her in….so SHE had been outside. I know she’s just a cat and cat’s do go out and can find their way back…Heidi was a stray so her young beginning was pretty rough…I really don’t want to put her in that place again….but I guess she still have the curiosity of the outdoors in her. All I can do is to make sure she keeps her collar on with her name and our phone number.

Ghost Hunting?
Can you really take that for real? Is it a ghost or is it a demon/angel? I don’t know but I guess I’ve had something’s happen that I haven’t really want to believe in it. In college, I was the Supervisor at night in the dorm. One weekend, a group of guys got together (alcohol) was definitely involved…this was the 80s of college party times…the “boys” were playing around a weegee board…that an alcohol probably didn’t help but one thing lead to another when I get a call down to the front desk with about 25 guys scared and were coming downstairs and didn’t want to be on their floor. They wanted counselors or priests someone to talk to them…they were pretty scared when I saw them. I followed school procedures and reassured them and it was decided to calling some ministers/school counselors to help talk to these guys. I took a couple of my staff up with me to their floor. It was eerie with on one on the floor when the elevators opened but what was really weird was all the lights were off…even the emergency lights. It was like this floor didn’t have any power. But the rest of the 10 floor tower had power. None of the other floors were effective. I couldn’t find anything else wrong with the floor. We did pick up the game board and “confiscated”…haha I don’t really remember who ended up with it…I just knew we took it off the floor. I don’t know what happened there…I can’t explain and I was there! But to turn the power back on for that floor…the electrician had to shut down the whole tower and reset. This took about 15 minutes. Most of the residents were asleep and didn’t know anything until the “stories” the next day. I do believe something happen to those guys and that’s about as close to a ghost/haunting/whatever you want to call it. I just know, I’m not going to play around with a board game!

So now that I've rambled the night along...here's to blogging!

Nursing Home versus "Pysch" Ward

You know it's not your typical Mother's Day weekend...My mother-in-law didn't want to distrupt Grandma's nursing home schedule by taking her out for the day. I really think she was the one who didn't want to deal with the hassel of taking Grandma to her house. Grandma has only been in the nursing home for about 3 weeks. I think today was actually the best I've seen her in the last year but not because she belongs there. Don't get me wrong, I knew that Grandma needed more help and really shouldn't be alone in her house...at least now she is eatting right (3 meals aday) and taking her meds the way she should....it just the nursing home condition...it's really not a bad place but it has that SMELL. And it also has THOSE people that SHOULD be there but are just waiting to die. I was just sitting there wondering how someone could live in that environment...it just seems so stale and it would make me depressed to live there....Then I remembered what it's like to be somewhere where I didn't have control of what to do and when to do it...it came along with meds too and meals....how is that different? I've seen two places and one I really care not to "visit" again. The second was ok...but was I ok not to be there? How does one go to pick a nursing home for a loved one....how can you leave someone you love in a place like that? How do you know they are getting the care they should?

The "Chicken" Dance

Every Saturday night (weather permitting) my husband goes to the midget races out at Port City. Last night they had a special with motorcycles and 4x4 racing. But in the midle (intermission) they annouced for the little kids to do the chicken dance. Is that an Oklahoma thing? Maybe I've been to too many roller skating rinks but the Hokie Pokie and the Bunny Hop were the interactive songs of my days. On the east coast...the first time I heard of the chicken dance was at a wedding and I was clearly in my 20ies!

The Stress from Within

So much stress, I came home about 9:00 am from work on Friday and went to bed. Really not sleeping well. My head hurt behind my eyes... my head hurt so much I really couldn't think straight. I slept off and on through out Friday and into Saturday... By Saturday night, my husband took me to the ER for I was in basic tears from my headache...after 7 hours and iv drugs later, I wasn't feeling much but it was 10 times better then when I got there. The ER dr said it was stress related...duh.

New Beginnings

Starting all over is scary but also very discourging. I hate the fact that I failed at something. I feel so stupid and angry...but I'm reminded that I can start over...taking it a moment at a time instead of worring so much about what's about to happen. There is a visual reminder of what has transpired the last 48 hours.

Twist and Shout

I feel like screaming but I can only do that on the inside. So many things happening and I don't know how to stop it from getting out of control! It's like a runaway train! Than again I'm told that's just part of life!!!

How can I make it not part of my life?