3 girls in a KING size bed....ok one's a dog, the other is a cat, then of course there's me! can't wait to see who searched that and found this site.....big disappointment...
but that doesn't mean it's all what it's cracked up to be because, again i'm in bed with a laptop, cat, & dog!!! my alergies are killing me -- i have a dozen PINK roses and flowery on my chester drawers...so pretty....AND have the distinct smell.........roses are fine it's the OTHER stuff i could do without....but then it wouldn't be what he wanted me to have....this year, i guess he was thinking with his heart.....
being a boob for a short tern seems like i give in when i can get anything mushy, sentimental or otherwise....because it's these rare moments when i see the man i fell in love with, and the man i know loves me............and the only man i can see myself with because without him......i could go on but a part of me would be left behind.....i'm afraid of how much that would cost...and what part would i be able to give to another.....
mental note -- don't read mushy books that deal with dead husbands......
Ramblings in search for significance even in this small world that I live in...How does every suppose to fit into the reality of every day living when you dream of the fairytell ending...were we so wrong to dream?
Monday, February 18, 2008
Who do I THINK I am?

ok forgive me because i'm on a terrie tonight/morning or whatever. i guess i'm to a point where i wish i was someone else but then i wouldn't be able to be who i've become! makes complete sense to all common folks! NOT!
So what am i doing? i'm blogging like what my theraptists say...EXPRESSING FEELINGS into words --- is this all there is to life AGAIN? every night i am reminded of 5 things - 2 blue, 3 white pills. THAT'S MY LIFE in a balance. so if i disect this thought....(which i'm in a calculating mood)....i take 400mg of blue pills (lamital) every 7 nights....so that's 2800mg every week for what....52 weeks....uhm...that's like 145,600mg a year.....now let's continue the math problem...200mg of the big round white pill (seroquel)....52(200*7)=72,800mg a year....then we can't for get the smallest of the white round pills -- 10mg of ambien AGAIN 52(10*7)=3,640mg...last but a goodie, trazadone weighing in at 50mg which makes 18,200mg per year.....
so with ONLY 5 pills a night.....i digest 240,240mg a year.......BUT WAIT that's not all you can put into one equation.....................
there is the OVER THE COUNTER (otc) and of course the OTHER prescribed drugs for colds, coughs, infections, etc....................
now, a little bit of a disclaimer in case any of my "shrinks" are lurkering about.....i sometimes on occasion like to take my WELBUTRIN but lets not go there -- OK LETS! welbutrin is a very positive drug for me.....maybe that's WHY i don't want to take it anymore....it seems to WORK! hmmmmm it keeps me focused on tasks (sorry cant be a bimbo on it) but it's become NOT a habit to take in the mornings much....i've kind of gotten rid of cymbalta too....(which i think that was a good move on my part -- not that it didn't help but I WAS TIRED OF SOOOOO MANY DAMM PILLS with no end in sight -- he (said dr) may make me go back to it.....or his other suggestion was EXlexar...ewwwwwweeeeee)
isnt it ironic to see 240,240mg.....how can it add all up to a repeatable number....what an odd observation but then again, i guess i'm odd sort of person....
normal on the outside to all seeing eyes......but with xray vision, "special" people will just KNOW the difference! (ha HOGWASH!)
So what am i doing? i'm blogging like what my theraptists say...EXPRESSING FEELINGS into words --- is this all there is to life AGAIN? every night i am reminded of 5 things - 2 blue, 3 white pills. THAT'S MY LIFE in a balance. so if i disect this thought....(which i'm in a calculating mood)....i take 400mg of blue pills (lamital) every 7 nights....so that's 2800mg every week for what....52 weeks....uhm...that's like 145,600mg a year.....now let's continue the math problem...200mg of the big round white pill (seroquel)....52(200*7)=72,800mg a year....then we can't for get the smallest of the white round pills -- 10mg of ambien AGAIN 52(10*7)=3,640mg...last but a goodie, trazadone weighing in at 50mg which makes 18,200mg per year.....
so with ONLY 5 pills a night.....i digest 240,240mg a year.......BUT WAIT that's not all you can put into one equation.....................
there is the OVER THE COUNTER (otc) and of course the OTHER prescribed drugs for colds, coughs, infections, etc....................
now, a little bit of a disclaimer in case any of my "shrinks" are lurkering about.....i sometimes on occasion like to take my WELBUTRIN but lets not go there -- OK LETS! welbutrin is a very positive drug for me.....maybe that's WHY i don't want to take it anymore....it seems to WORK! hmmmmm it keeps me focused on tasks (sorry cant be a bimbo on it) but it's become NOT a habit to take in the mornings much....i've kind of gotten rid of cymbalta too....(which i think that was a good move on my part -- not that it didn't help but I WAS TIRED OF SOOOOO MANY DAMM PILLS with no end in sight -- he (said dr) may make me go back to it.....or his other suggestion was EXlexar...ewwwwwweeeeee)
isnt it ironic to see 240,240mg.....how can it add all up to a repeatable number....what an odd observation but then again, i guess i'm odd sort of person....
normal on the outside to all seeing eyes......but with xray vision, "special" people will just KNOW the difference! (ha HOGWASH!)

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