AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

So screaming doesn't seem to help especially if people see you in your car == the only escape i'm finding (i need a new car!) I pretend – the one thing I do very well. I can smile and say everything is just fine because that’s what people want to hear! Plus, I’m trying not to be labeled a “drama queen” even though I guess everything seems to be a big deal to me!!! In compare to others events, I guess mine aren’t as important. That statement says it all….

I CANT DO THIS!!!!

I struggle - I'm struggling

Subjective DENIAL!!!! I don't know if I can handle breathing!

Done

So I'm done with today with people and all things of this life!!

Take 2 rx and maybe see tomorrow



Have iPhone - will travel

hello? Hello? HELLo?

So no one seems to be listening to me but they see only what they want to see or what I let them see. It seems WORDS are just another way to ignor what I WISH someone would notice. But it's just me!!!

I DONT KNOW WHAT I WANT
WHAT I THINK I WANT - is insane
WHAT I NEED is help
WHAT I FEEL is hopeless

:(

why can't i be like everyone else....why do i have to feel sad?

God spoke to me in a cloud of thunder

I am a good girl...I do what i'm told to do
I'm a good girl becuase he said so
Good girls always do the right thing

How much is good enough?
It never ends.....it follows around me like a shadow - always there but sometimes seen
I hate taking a mundane breath every moment

This is who I am...if I'm not good therefore I must be bad
Life's grays do not matter to me lately

I'm the good girl who does as she's told to do
Whatever happened to happilly ever after

The sooner if or when people understand that, the sooner I'm done

You are the slime on the bottom of pond scum

a perfect world

i could CONTROL and JUSTIFY all CONSCIOUS behaviors but if i was just DISCIPLINE enough to avoid the CONSEQUESNCES of my actions.

Control

Justify

Conscious

Discipline

Consequences