Of all days. When things are already sad - a friend called me high maintenance.
WOW
When did I become a burden to her? As with most relationships I'm more on the reserved side of my reflections I TRY HARD TO KEEP THAT WHOEVER I AM A GOOD PERSON... so forgive me if I tell you what is really troubling me or how I really feel!!!
Ramblings in search for significance even in this small world that I live in...How does every suppose to fit into the reality of every day living when you dream of the fairytell ending...were we so wrong to dream?
Thursday, July 23, 2009
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Whinne & Cheese
I sooooo want a dead drop sleep that I a) don't dream or can't remember b) not wake up at 2 am and c) that I don't have to deal with people. No interaction!!!
iPhone
surfing 24/7
iPhone
surfing 24/7
Saturday, July 18, 2009

As a 42 year old female I sometimes regress into that 10 year old who thinks I know everything or pretending to know everything so that I can be liked by all. Liked by All...whoa that is a profound thought. Can't I be liked by everyone -- am I different enough not to be liked? ok I know back then (and maybe now) I was pretty immature and very annoying. What did I get from that -- maybe some attention but I think more I got isolation. What I craved was acceptance.
The joyful child - I look at this figurine and saw myself sitting on the floor with a hundred other kids listening to Jesus talk. He was gentle and kind with words and he was willing to answer all kinds of questions....there's where I sit...on the side with my head turned away from all eye contact...just waiting.....
if he really cared, he'd see me
if he really cared, he'd comfort me
if he really cared, I wouldn't be so lost
if he really cared, life would be more fair!
if he really cared, I’d know
feeling is just an emotion – when emotions control the thought process – is there a way to break that runaway train doomed for failure
The joyful child - I look at this figurine and saw myself sitting on the floor with a hundred other kids listening to Jesus talk. He was gentle and kind with words and he was willing to answer all kinds of questions....there's where I sit...on the side with my head turned away from all eye contact...just waiting.....
if he really cared, he'd see me
if he really cared, he'd comfort me
if he really cared, I wouldn't be so lost
if he really cared, life would be more fair!
if he really cared, I’d know
feeling is just an emotion – when emotions control the thought process – is there a way to break that runaway train doomed for failure
Friday, July 17, 2009
scaried cat
Monday, July 13, 2009
Melt Down
Ahhhhhhhhrrrrrrrrrr I'm not sure how to explain all of the emotions I feel. It's borderline anger or crying just it's so intense and so out there I don't know how much more timewise can I take. I want to RUN. I mean leave. Be done! Finished! Out of here! God Help Me Now!!!!
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