Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

I HATE PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!!

ARound & aRound

My world keeps spinning around everything is getting musher together where I can't seem to seporate one emotion from another. Than the feels go with my behavior - some logical, some distrubing!!! I want to get off but there isn't time! Where is my lifeline? Can't I just sink into nothingness? Right now I'm nor so sure I can make good choices! I DONT CARE!!!!!!!

Emotional Wreack

If it's just one thing I can handle.
If it's only two things, I can deal with it
If it's three thing, I can multi-task.
When it comes to over five, I cry at any thought of what to do first.

I wanted to OD on two dozen donuts but my co-workers wouldn't let me.

SORE

"Oh My Achening Dick"
In colleage we would say this when we were too tired to do just one more thing. I'd liked to use it now becase. My body hurts all over and if I had a dick it would hurt too!!!!!!!!

"so I walk up high
and I step to the edge
to see my world below
and I laugh at myself
while the tears roll down
cause it’s the
world I know"

life is dimmed

life is small

life is happy or sad

life is fair and unfair

life isn't lived on the sidelines

"Well, I'm gonna get out of bed every morning... breath in and out all day long. Then, after a while I won't have to remind myself to get out of bed every morning and breath in and out... and, then after a while, I won't have to think about how I had it great and perfect for a while. "

OMG

Oh how I hate funeral home "family" hour(s). And being stuck in a small space with in-laws and a dead body! Oh what joy!

Then tomorrow will be the funeral and it all starts over! There is not enough "anything" to get throuh this but time! I just want to sleep and by pass everything and everyone.

Sleep

Sleeping all day and into the night is over rated!! Becomes invisable!

Sinfullness

"the sinfullness of human nature, man's (my) deepest spiritual disorder, involves a quarrel with God"

A QUARREL W/ GOD! I would say that's true. I struggle w/ the way it seems my life is heading. Is that GOD's fault or mine? I've asked this forever and really haven't been given an answer to believe, hold on to...where IS GOD in all of this internal turnmorl?