Beddie-By

Don't let the bugs by...or if I die...see ya on the flip-side

Self medicate to bring that anxiety high down - just float the boat and concentrating on breathing. Don't want to forget to breath.

Forgetting on purpose

"Dizzy, Im so dizzy my head is spinning
Like a whirlpool it never ends
And it's You makin it spin
You're making me dizzy"

Of all things I could choose. I am struggling with being childless. I enjoy kidnapping tori but she isn't my daughter. The ironic issue is I've had a complete hysterectomy 4 years ago. Kind of hard the get pregnant. Spring - everything blooming and babies born. No one understand the emotional anguish.

Sweeping Winds

"I feel the earth - move - under my feet
I feel the sky tum-b-ling down - tum-b-ling down
I feel my heart start to trem-b-ling -
Whenever you're around"

Relief from twisters. Usually don't buy into the hype but reality set in and fear over whelmed me.

so hanging on a thread

the weekend went into a blind mess...had to work all last week teaching a class which i loved but it made very long nights...then had to go to my mother-in-laws for her birthday/mother's day stuff....it was really hard when april gave lisa a card and i'm once again forgotten....i had mother's day.....cried all the way on the drive home. Missy and josie were snoring in my lap...at least i have my fur children i sniffled...saturday, i woke up and omg my head was going to explode...needed to get up and get the ceramic plates but i wasn't going to be able to do that class...ugh do i have to get up??? YES, crawled out and tried to concentrate on the first task. Yeah successfully got the plates without passing out (not that i wasn't woooze)....of to sam's to get stuff for dinner and such that i hadnt gotten in a while....made it to the check out but started the wooozzzeeee the room is spinning -- i don't know how long i sat after checking out....but i knew i wasn't ready to drive....next stop was the warehouse market (smaller stuff needed not in big quanties)....ok made it back home and close my eyes knowing i still had cr to deal with....actually when i left i was feeling a little bit better....but by 8 i was done...overly done and that's not just the headache it was the whole mothers day thing compounding the headache...sunday was a little bit of a blur since i tried to fix dinner for my moither-in-law and such...i think the food was good (but i couldn't keep it down) and i was try8ing to pretend my head didn't ache.....

monday - still felt like shit but i knew i had to be at work...can miss...so many to be depended on.....bacon wasn't a good choice and it wasn't pretty after that....which leads tonight and hopfully back to work in the morning........nighty-nite