Bloody paws

I know that extra high stress reverts me back to peeling/chewing my nails off until there is a hang nail. I've done so much better when I keep solar nails on! My fingers like it too!! Now they are just open sores. Not very attractive. I have been in meetings most of the day. So I seemed to love pain because that's what I did while listening. Pop the bottom of the cutical and the RIP the nail forward. Pain can be a good thing.

I'm thinking that I have a high tolance but the older I get I just want numbness. But that contridics that a huge part of my brain wants to feel physical pain for emotional pain.

Now I just want to sleep. Tired and looking for the weekend. I've sort if joked that I my not choose to want to live after this week. At times lately that has crept logic resurfaces. I think now it would better if I'd was in a car wreak because the a) I'd be off work & b) maybe get a new car. I love my car but I realize it's really on it's last prayer and nine lives. I've been in denial and didn't want to face that.

Then there is the very BIG ELEPHANT in the room that brent and me don't want to talk about. Money has some roots but there are so many topics like this that I could open a colorful zoo! I hate conflict. I hate justifing everything like I'm a child.

Boy this blog is all over with topics that I an passive agressive! Now I wonder where I get so internetlly angry. Punisment is around the corner!

I started this out into a BLOODY MESS!

(iPhone texting at it's best)