Babbling, bubblering,

Since NO ONE ever reads my blog - hopefully lost in all the other hypes that blogging is an antique. Now twitter/Facebook or I may already dating the next NEW thing.

So I've been stuck at home for a few more days. Went to texas for NASCAR and it was just a very long weekend and not very comfortable - oh yea I forgot I just had surgery!!

My "housekeeper" came to clean. She's a close friend. She's my sponsor. She's someone I am grateful to know. I told her that it would take twice as long if we talked while she cleaned. But I guess we both liked that time we haven't had.

Too many threads to untangled but one just stuck in the air. Her daughter was going to have her baby last Friday. Yeah healthily baby girl!!!!

But in contrast, hard to imagine, I don't know the mom that well and I'll admit I don't think much about her except what she does/is doing to her daughters. 3 girls 17, 7-8, 6. The 6 was recently molested - great she put his ass in jail, bad she's already shacking up with the next guy. Oh yeah - mom also needs a heart/lung transplant (drugs/babies/and whatever)

So the real kicker of this saga - the 17 gave birth to a girl last week. But her main concern was where was Jimmy and why does he keep leaving the delivery room with one of her friends and who invited her there in the first place.

The stark reality: neither teenager is ready. They didn't know where she was going to stay. They didn't have a crib/bed and mom said they can stay with her. Maybe the baby can sleep on the couch or love seat. There's no baby shower. There isn't a big support system that's for sure! I know - JUDGMENTAL. NOW TELL ME, WHY CAN THAT CHILD HAVE A CHILD AND NOT BE READY FOR THE RESPONSIBILITY. That seems to happen when you have sex. There isn't responsibility! WHAT has happened has been REPEATED for 3 generations! What will be for the 7-8 or even the 6 who understands something very bad happened to her. Will they carry on this legacy? Ok, I don't know the future...but I'm wishing better.

SOOOOOOOO WHY SHOULD I CARE The mind games I play-Emotional wreak is putting things mildly. I as much as I'm trying to not deal with or forget it was even possible - a sliver of hope not even a sliver - a word, just a whisper..."maybe she would"

Then I remember my medication for hell backwards or forwards - that sliver rots

My husband - would he accept her? most likely not!

I need to bury that sliver! It's too late...for everyone