a-clide-o-scope of things

My take on IMB:
I've been reading bits and pieces about the International Mission Board (IMB)but to me it will always be the Southern Baptist Foreign Mission Board located in Richmond, VA....oh how I remember the old building it used to be housed in...I know it's long since changed but as a kid it was amazing to think about living in another country while your parents were missionaries. In GA's taught me about mission and writing missionaries. So with that said...I couldnt believe when my parents applied for Cali, Columbia I was in shocked. This took our entire family on a whirlwind for a year of appling. I did't know it would take so long. and be such a long process for someone to volunteer to be a missionary. There were many trips back and forth to VA to meet with different people. Even I had to go and I was just a kid. I thought it would be cool to live in another country. My parents had taken me down with them over the summer to show me where we would live and where I would go to school. I was getting excited for this chance....It was going to be so neat because if we made the selection then at Ridgecrest our family would be intoduced as new missionaries. (I would have already been there because it was a centerifuge for teens that week) BUT....3 weeks before that summer's night they (FMB) decided not to select our family....reasons were given that my brother was a freshman in college, my sister was a junior....and I was about to go into 7th grade-almost too old for admission....I'm sure there were other reasons but they didn't share that much with us kids. So to make a long story short ...I do think about the IMB...I know some missionaries that are still part of the organization. I used to look for a church that believed in the SBCFMB and would go there. But I find now that I don't particiapate as a SBC member although I still have my membership there.

MARGINS
One of the pastors I listen to is doing a book review. Makes me stop and ponder. But I don't know if I have anything to really write about.

Church
Sunday morning and I reliving the night before. So I've got to start early or in the yesterday. Saturday nights I go to a meeting kinda like an AA group but it's christ-centered based. It's not like I have an addiction but I do things that are more in the catagory of obsessive and codepencies not to mention the elephant in the room -- depression. So by the time I got home....I was ready for bed. Took my meds and crawled into bed. But I remember waking up in the middle of the night and craving sugar...I had a glass of orange juice....that wasn't enough I got a piece of b-cake...in the middle of the night. Then I crawled back to sleep only to wake up later for the same craving....so again we hit the kitchen. and again crawled back to the sugar high sleep! ....this leaves the alarm clock ring at 8:30....so about 8:50...I crawled out of bed and when to the 9:00 service. I was late. duh. But I made it into my usual seat. but was I really there? At the last song...I snucked out...really didn't want to talk to anyone especially my sponsor! ugh...then I was hungry...I have an hour before the next service...so I go to IHOP. Which of course made me a little late in the second service...where it all comes together...the matter was the same so I guess I was there to hear now can I take courage into what was said and done. Well, I left during the last song which is the same reason...I just didn't want to talk to anyone. Why is that? I'm afraid of what I'll say and do. I'm so emotional.