It was by faith...

As I was wallowing in hopelessness this weekend...I was reminded that it was by faith the men of the old testiment lived. Do I have the faith...if I'm honest I have to have some or life wouldn't be worth all this trouble. Something inside is still fighting to continue on even though I don't see any changes. Can I trust that God will come through for me even when the struggles seems to go on forever? Is that still being selfish? I asked a friend if I'm losing "that something". His response was "that something" has a name: Jesus. hmmm what does that mean? I know the intellect point of view of course but how do I take that to heart. Am I just looking for a feeling or am I searching for that presence of peace & comfort? I have a lot of whys and a lot of buts to justify some of my actions, thought process & false beliefs. What are the roots to these strongholds? Is it something in my past or am I projecting things into the future? I think the polictical correct answers is to have faith and trust in God, the son, and the work of the holy spirit...but can I really do that with a sincere heart--that's probably the $64000 question!