The incoherent babbling patient....

Pain pills are a good thing when you are in pain. They also have a great side effect of leaving you totally incoherent! I've enjoyed the blissful covers tuck all around me for the last 24 hours or so in my warm pj's, I veggied and druelled! What made this weekend so hard....long week at work to begin with and then I had two caring friends hand me their babies to hold for a minute or two. How soft their skin was. How tiny their fingers and toes....ahhh the baby fat around their knees...all smelling like a baby (sometimes good and sometimes bad)...How much holding a baby makes that interenal feelings resurface into the emotional roller coaster. How can and 8 lb baby turn this 200 lb woman into a basket full of tears. What have I done that was soooo wrong?