Overboard....

An overdose occurs when a chemical substance (i.e. drug) is ingested in quantities and/or concentrations large enough to overwhelm the homeostasis of a living organism, causing severe illness or death. Essentially it is a type of poisoning.

I used to think it was ok to take extra tylenol or two...extra shot of Nightquil...but that isn't where my story starts. One year ago I was given the choice to seek professional psychritatic help with my depression. The thought was there must be a chemical imbalance. Did I buy into it? I did it because I was told to and it would make me think and feel better. I also continue therapy. I guess its been about 2 months ago that I've not taken my meds at the right times or even at all. Didn't notice a difference. Then it lead to counting what pills I had and how many mg there was in the house. I like numbers, I like stats. Not that I would ever use this information I thought - I'm a smart educated person. But I lost control. It was like an experiment to see how far I could push the envelope. I thought I was in control and could control the situation. I even boast about doing something very wrong thinking I really didn't do anything lethal wrong. How far was too far -- I didn't know anymore. I don't know how to stop these thoughts from process to actions. I obsess and I can't release control til I've figured out a plot finish! I'm powerless and can't seem to find any comfort in a greater power.