seem to get earlier and earlier these days. I wish I could sleep longer but at least I'm able to get to sleep. I fell asleep with my glasses on...it was weird waking up to clear vision...as I crawled out of bed and wandering down the hallway..I've locked Heidi in the computer room all night...oops Not a very happy cat. After the protest of meows she settles in at her bowl to eat her late dinner. All is quiet in the house as I sip my hot tea while wondering what to blog about today. So many thoughts running through my head but most I can't openly write about...too hard, too personal, too real.
One of the realizations I've been pondering is the fact that I'm not taking my meds as I should. I'm afraid that I really do need something...that I'm going to lose control...that I'm going to have to take them forever! My dr reassures me that's not going to happen. Can I really trust his opinion? He see's me for 15 minutes every 6 weeks...how does he know? Will they really help? Oh the doubts, confusion and the irrational beliefs I buy into daily leaves the helpless, hopeless, desporate options available.
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