STEP ONE: We admitted we were powerless over our addictions and compulsive behaviors. That our lives had become unmanageable.
"I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out." Romans 7:18
unmanageable...that seems to be an understatement. I keep repeating this verse over and over when I'm stuck on doing something wrong...it just reinforces all I believe to be true. No matter how hard I try there's is nothing I can do to make it right. I "feel" so stuck...in the same pattern over and over again like it repeats consistently everyday. No one understands...I just can't communicate what it's like. Verbally it sound lame (even writting it doesn't sound that great either). How am I to change something that I KNOW is illrational, obsessive, and compulsive? I just think I've done this unpardonable sin but when I put it (sin) in to words it really doesn't make sense. The guilt is still there. The shame of feeling it is stronger and feeds into the other thoughts. The anxiety builds until something small sets me off into a panic moment.
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