my favorite passing of time

Anything and everything can be googled...RIGHT?

"Everything is permissible for me"—but not everything is beneficial. "Everything is permissible for me"—but I will not be mastered by anything.

Everything is permissible until you ask permission.

Everything is permissible but not everything is constructive

“Without God everything becomes permissible”

everything is permissible for me but everything beneficial not is permissible

There is an appointed time for everything. And there is a time for every event under heaven

S.H.I.T.

SUGAR, HONEY, ICE TEA!
SUGAR, HONEY, ICE TEA!
SUGAR, HONEY, ICE TEA!
SUGAR, HONEY, ICE TEA!
ton of dirty dishes in the sink
SUGAR, HONEY, ICE TEA!
SUGAR, HONEY, ICE TEA!
SUGAR, HONEY, ICE TEA!
SUGAR, HONEY, ICE TEA!
laundry to be folded and more put into the dryer
i don’t care to do another load
SUGAR, HONEY, ICE TEA!
SUGAR, HONEY, ICE TEA!
SUGAR, HONEY, ICE TEA!
SUGAR, HONEY, ICE TEA!
football just sucks
SUGAR, HONEY, ICE TEA!
SUGAR, HONEY, ICE TEA!
SUGAR, HONEY, ICE TEA!
SUGAR, HONEY, ICE TEA!
screw the meds
SUGAR, HONEY, ICE TEA!
SUGAR, HONEY, ICE TEA!
SUGAR, HONEY, ICE TEA!
SUGAR, HONEY, ICE TEA!
dog poo cat poo ewwwww
SUGAR, HONEY, ICE TEA!
SUGAR, HONEY, ICE TEA!
SUGAR, HONEY, ICE TEA!
SUGAR, HONEY, ICE TEA!

Excerpts from a Dog's Daily Diary

8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

Excerpts from a Cat's Daily Diary (Day 983 of my captivity)

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.
They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. Bastards. There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage. Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs. I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.

innocence lost

A Shinning Star


a cheerful smile.....

you won't believe this...

and the beat goes on!

ONE LINE SAYINGS:

My Attitude reflects my Altitude!
My invisible friend does NOT like you.
My mood swing is BIGGER than yours!
I don't read minds... I offend them.
Wait for it...... Wait for it.... MOOD SWING!
I'm NOT crazy... just emotionally challenged.
WHAT?!?! Are my demonic horns showing????
Don't bother me.... I'm having a delightful conversation with myself!
I'm driving my car today, because my broom is in the shop.
I'm not optimistic... I'm delusional.
I have ISSUES..... with MYSYLF!!
Yep.... still CRAZY!
I have a very low tolerance for NORMAL people.
I don't have conversations with myself... I have EPICS.
You only like ME 'cuz I make YOU look SANE!
This mentality is "out of order"... Sorry for the inconvenience!
STOP THE PAIN!!! put everyone on prozac!
SHHHHHHHHH! Don't distract me.... I'm counting the pretty floating lights!
What mental defects I have aren't hereditary.... they are CONTAGEOUS!

"One two three FOUR five, six seven eight NINE ten, eleven twelve. Doooo do do do dooo do."

12,000 milligrams of "happy pills"...................i think i'm insane! thats where i started this pinball ride! I cried and they said "take this".....naive and trusting...twisted and "let's try this" are three words i dread to hear from the shrink....i've been TWICKED a few arounds and passed out cold on the floor! COUNTING is a refuge, safe place, temporary relief……

WHAT IS SO WRONG WITH COUNTING? I had learned how to count at an early age!!

Invisable Walls

Mentally locked......

“A human being is a part of a whole, called by us universe, a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings as something separated from the rest… a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty.” — Albert Einstein.

darkness

Darkness be my pillow,

And sorrow be my bed;

Bend me like the willow

Then bind me to the stead.

Sing me soft of sadness,

To fill my eyes with years;

Succor me my madness,

And gently blot the tears.

Help me bear the birthing

As what will be is born;

Ancient bones unearthing,

My hair of pride be shorn:

Lift me, do not scold me;

Please let me feel the skies–

Hold me, darling hold me,

Once more before I rise.

© 2006 Jeffrey Hull

It seems I am forever receding into the darkness that seems so familiar and comfortable...why i ask myself....and it's just that life is so hard, every day, it hurts to be vulnerable...exhausted, mentally - takes its toll, anger fills and hardens the heart, restless sets in where nothing can break the hold of tears……isolation from friends, family, and denial to admit losing control, losing the battle of sanity

Why I REALLY hate clowns!

I never really like clowns...they try to hard to make you laugh and to be honest...they looked stupid or scary with make up on their faces....not to mention the clothes -- fashion police! Growing up...my brother had one of these boping things....of course i wasn't allowed to hit it (when he was home! ha)

The idea was to hit it as often as you wanted. Maybe it was supposed to help you learn to box; if so, I was a miserable failure. In any case, this opponent was a pushover — literally. It never tried to fight back, never defended itself, never got mad at me. Always smiling and standing still, it presented a beautiful target I could pummel to my heart’s content. But a funny thing happened with the boxing clown. I lost every fight I had with it.I was the one doing the punching and the knocking down. I was the one who should have won. But the clown had a secret. Because of its round bottom, it never stayed knocked over. No matter how many times I punched the clown’s lights out, it always came back upright. By the end of the fight, I was exhausted. Punched out and worn out, I was ready to quit. But my opponent, the clown, still stood there, smiling that infuriating grin at me. when I left the room, I sometimes imagined it raising its arms in victory behind my back — smiling all the while, of course.
focus on the family artical

but i did have the clown additon of "Weebles Wobble But They Don't Fall Down"

same concept, smaller version...................i think i finally got mad and burried them in the backyard -- a few years later the dog dug them up.....

this time i dug the hole DEEPER!

MY ADULT NIGHTMARE is going to a Tulsa Resturant and finding this clown and trying to eat a meal? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

Who's Who Mr. Puppeteer

Predestination
God created sin so that we would know Mercy…(TV “Friday Night Lights)

Duck & Cover

IT'S BEEN A "BAD" DAY

Move over BOYZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

SO as the big weekend ends........i reflex a little bit. Mostly how many women are attending the race...all ages...wife's, mothers, friends...but i was especailly touched to see a few daddy/daughters.......

THE GHOST OF LEO

Forbidding, creepy feelings of your hair standing on ends….it comes in a flash….and you can never be ready when it strikes….it’s the dark shadow you can see from the corner of your eye but when you turn…he’s no where to be seen…but IS HE? I KNOW THE BOOGIE MAN IS REAL...THE ZOMBIE IS BEHIND THE DOOR...AND FREDDIE IS WAITING FOR ME TO DREAM....he comes.....he will always be!

Managing your thought life means weighing his (Leo's) words and giving them only the consideration they are due. In this case, not much. His words can only hurt if you value his opinion.

-----------
Narcissistic personality disorder was named after the Greek myth:
Narcissus was so in love with himself he eventually drowned staring at his own reflection.

Symptoms may include:

• Grandiose sense of one’s own abilities or achievements


• Fantasies about having exceptional power, attractiveness or success


• Sense of belonging to an exclusive group of people who truly understand each other


• Need for constant praise


• Expectations of special treatment


• Exploitation of other people


• Lack of empathy for other people


• Envy of other people or a belief that you are the subject of other people’s envy


• Haughty or arrogant behavior

I REALLY, REALLY, REALLY HATE ARROGANT BEHAVIOR.....

STOP…PERSONAL SPACE ALERT

………….AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Go Away…Don't Look At Me....Stop Talking to ME… Please Don’t Touch Me

SOMEONE,

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,

The courage to change the things I cannot accept,

and the wisdom to hide the bodies of those people I had to kill today because they p....d me off.

And also, help me to be careful of the toes I step on today as they may be connected to the ass that I may have to kiss tomorrow.

Help me to always give 100% at work

....12% on Monday

23% on Tuesday

40% on Wednesday

20% on Thursday, and

5% on Fridays

And help me to remember...... When I'm having a really bad day, and it seems that people are trying to p... me off, that it takes 42 muscles to frown and only 4 to extend my middle finger and tell them to bite me!

F O L

FLOWER OF LIFE
A Poem by Eileen Finch Cain

Feel the goodness in all forms of life

Love all things; let go of strife

Open your petals; let love flow in

Widen the gap; let love grow within

Erase the scars of the past

Rest in the assurance that only love lasts

Own your self-worth in spite of what others may say

Find again the peace in your day

Live your potential; let the world know

Into yourself let a new energy flow

Find out you have so much to give

Embrace love; laugh and life

RUN

"Run, Run as Fast as you CAN!

You can't catch me ... I'm the Gingerbread man."

What are you running from? What are you running toward?
One day you will have to stop running...Then what will you do?
One can run from something physical,
or from their emotional and soul issues.
Name one thing you are running from. Could it be yourself, your fears?
You can run, but you can't hide.

So back from the "mental" break as may be said...i'm wanting to jump, and run away from home...it's not like life is so bad but life just seems to suck...a recent events in the hometown news just made me sick to think of how innocence of a child…how did “under the bed” and “in the closet” MONSTERS got out into the real world? If not having the chance to have a child and then having one who suffers from no fault of her own. I’m torn between crying and rage.

I don’t want to feel this way… I HATE THE FEELING....mostly

Fishy Story

"Religion is a guy in church thinking about fishing.

Spirituality is a guy fishing and thinking about God in relation to all His glory."

My dad loved to fish...even when i was 6 i could bait a hook with the juices earth worm and take a rainbow trout off the hook...it wasn't my passion as it was with my father and his father...

Both have since left this world and i snuck into the tackle boxes and have about 10 of my favorite flies either one of them had created…

i can remember watching each one tieing a fly and i would ask why that color of string and so on (pesty youngest at heart still)...the best fly...it was one my dad did for me in the colors i chose not what the fish would like...

The one major thing i learned from my parents and their parents...life is God...everything living and breathing, nature -- can all sing a song of majesty to the one creator....

Thank You

la reconnaissance est la memorie du coeur

gratitude is the memory of the heart - Jean Baptiste Massieu

Well, as a person who was taught that you must send thank you notes when someone does something for you or gives you something. As a kid, that was usually only grandma & grandpa. I always got something for my birthday & Christmas. And mom was the one who made all of us write thank you’s. As a grown up, I thought wedding presents were as much as I can do. I’m not a “card” remembering person…except for my husband but that’s a whole other reasons. But I’m home, bored and I guess it is polite to send a thank you note.

Where? Hmmm I recently had major surgery and I received flowers from my husband’s work. Now I know they are from the office manager who signed the owner’s name but then I also know she’ll enjoy the brownies I sent with the card!

So to refresh me etiquette, I googled the “proper” way to write a thank you note and came to these few suggestions.

• Greet the Giver
• Express Your Gratitude
• Discuss the use of whatever
• Mention the past, allude to the future
• Grace
• Regards

What’s Not There

Any news about your life. This isn’t the time to brag about your new job, a hot girlfriend, or number of surgeries. The thank-you is exclusively about thanking somebody for their kindness. While you may want more than anything to show them once and for all you amounted to something, this is not the forum. Save that for your annual Christmas letter.

Dear Mr. Basore & the Scott Rice Family,

I would love to thank you for the wonderful flowers. Roses are always a favorite and the colorful arrangement was a very nice & warm surprise. Brent and I continue to be grateful for your kindness over the years.

Thank you very much!
Dora Cooper

Prayer

Hmmmm

Defined as: “the act of communicating with a deity”; “a fixed text used in praying”; “reverent petition to a deity”; “someone who prays to God”; “earnest or urgent request”

Deity is such the politically correct term these days…but for me it is God, the almighty, the biblical God of Abraham. Along with that comes the trinity: God the Father, God the Son & God the holy spirit…all three are one.

So back to the topic: PRAYER

Is every hope/wish we as humans think considered praying? Does prayer have to be formal? Do you pray for others to hear or is it part of your heart/soul pouring out a loud? And for me: Does God still answer prayers? Today: war, crime, evil things this world has on the 6 o’clock news?
How does He decided what is truly in our/individual best interest? What is His purpose?

PRAYER: to me, a simple light of hope that someone much greater than me, one who created me, understands my true heart/soul. Distinguishing between my wants and needs for my life here on this planet…asking is the easy part, listening for the response is patience.

Time..........

Time keeps on slippin, slippin, slippin
Into the future
Time keeps on slippin, slippin, slippin
Into the future

I want to fly like an eagle
To the sea
Fly like an eagle
Let my spirit carry me
I want to fly like an eagle
Till I’m free
Oh, lord, through the revolution

7 days, 5 hours, 42 minutes, and 12 seconds

hmmmmmmm just thinking

Damm, why is this so hard to decided where to cut....I don't see the "X" on this patient like the map!

ok, was i the only one that didn't know this was a coming out party?

16 days, 10 working days ---

The high-technology beepers serve far more somber medical uses.

Einstein's trauma team now uses them to receive vital data about incoming patients.

When an emergency arrival is imminent, the team receives a beep, followed by a four-digit number that tells them when the ambulance is expected at the hospital and the type of emergency involved - say, a gunshot wound, or a heart attack.

''It triggers a response in all of us to run, and to know where to run,'' said Joanne Fisher, manager of the trauma program. ''It has saved countless lives by saving seconds.''

Sixteen beepers on the surgeon's hip
sixteen beepers there
one fell off
as the doc went to cough
fifteen beepers left on his hip

Twenty-seven scapules on the tray
Twenty-seven scapules there
Take one off
Hand it to the doc
twenty-six scapules left on the tray

apathy

Main Entry: ap·a·thy
Pronunciation: 'a-p&-thE

Function: noun
Etymology: Greek apatheia, from apathEs without feeling,
from a- + pathos emotion -- more at PATHOS

1 : lack of feeling or emotion : IMPASSIVENESS
2 : lack of interest or concern : INDIFFERENCE

it's coming.........

"Thirty scapules on the tray
Thirty scapules on the tray
Take one off
Give it to the doc
twenty-nine scapules left on the tray"

GUILTY and never assumed innocent

so it seems again i have no life............
i'm reduced to tears................
and wondering why my husband (the male race) is a complete jerk!

it hasn't been a great two weeks anyways....i'm limping home after work and want to just crawl into bed and die. But......my husband has STARTED his new way of eating (whatEVER)....it's only been 4 days....and i am already becoming the can't have person......or he's the extreme man who won't even eat what he can..........

Then there is the delimia that i will be having surgery in the next few weeks, like he's going to stay on the diet........if i don't fix he pouts........

i wanted pizza tonight......he made me feel pretty guilty and threw a small tantrum saying he won't eat anything tonight will just starve........................UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! With that guilt....how can i stay so cuddled up in my blankets ready to just sleep away into the morning? How is it my JOB to keep him on this diet, prepare the food.....when I AM DOING ALL THE WORK........i want him to lose some weight...it will be more healthy for him.....but if he doesn't take any ownership.....this is just going to be a diet and not a life style change in eating........the thing is, i SOOOO understand and i feel for me, my gastric bypass was the best thing i've ever done to help with this struggle with food.....

this comes back to I HAVE NO LIFE OF MY OWN.......................................................i'm losing friends or people i can talk to................i'm not even sure if i've burn my bridges with my counselor, sponsor and husband.........................

TO WANDA!

ok....i know i'm not the only one who's seen this happen but then again its the Walmart Parking lot on a very HOT day on the NORTHSIDE of Tulsa dubbed Ghetto Mart... Here's the setting...I'm walking out pushing my $150 worth of food for the week....and i turn around to see what the commotion was all about. Here was a 30 something black lady in a really paint needed van that was parked in a handicapped stop with another really need a bumper car waiting for that stop....what's the difference.....the car was honking it's horn to make the lady move a little faster....mind you both have handicapped stickers....it was the heafty white lady that started screaming out the window for the other to move....which of course ticked the other woman off and i think made her go even slower...when all was said and done....and she GOT her spot. She didn't even get out of the car AND there were TWO other handicapped spots open....ha

Just another one for the books.

Are you HELPLESS?

OK....how are is it to open a can, put contents in a pan, cook until hot and then pour into a bowl?

are men so helpless?

Mentalpause......

it's that what it should be called?

Why men fear women: "you gotta be afraid of someone who can bleed for a whole week and still not die".

Little Miss America

Well, we have added to our family and it's a GIRL!!! She was born on tax day 4/15 of this year. and a wonderful addition to our family...alast this is the only true way to be a parent...potty traing is killing me!

We live
we love
We forgive
and never give up
Cuz the days
we are given
are gifts from above
And today we remember
to live and to love

LIFE SUCKS CUBED

Lollipop, Lollipop

Oh lolli lolli lolli

Lollipop, Lollipop....

WHERE'S THE TIAQULIA?

Ugly Duckling

I was so unique
Now I feel skin deep
I count on the make-up to cover it all
Crying myself to sleep cause I cannot keep their attention
I thought I could be strong
But it's killing me

Does someone hear my cry?
I'm dying for new life

I want to be beautiful
Make you stand in awe
Look inside my heart, and be amazed
I want to hear you say
Who I am is quite enough
Just want to be worthy of love
And beautiful

Sometimes I wish I was someone other than me
Fighting to make the mirror happy
Trying to find whatever is missing
Won't you help me back to glory

Road Warriors

Read an interesting article last week in the Tulsa World

(not recommended reading but it passes time!…bored) and I’ve added a few touches. THOU SHALT NOT IGNORE

THE 10 DRIVER'S COMMANDMENTS

Thou shalt NOT throw wadded up papers and/or cigarettes out the window.
I think people must want to keep those guys in the orange vest busy pick up trash as cars go whizzing by. But seriously can you just put your trash in the backseat and clean it out when you feel like it? Besides, smoking is bad for your health – it’s time to quit!

Thou shalt NOT finger-scrawl ‘WASH ME” on thy neighbor’s car/windows.
I have to admit I have done this a few times…but with Oklahoma RED clay dust….wash your car more often (ok…lately we have had enough rain to wash away the dirt…but the heat will be coming soon enough and dry things out!! At least I hope.

Thou shalt WAIT thy dang turn at a stop sign.
Did anyone read the driving manual…come to a COMPLETE stop – not the quick rolling stop. I live at a three way stop sign…I think its more like an exception that people stop…I’ve even seen the cops not stop. That’s a good example – NOT. Yield to the driver on your right if it is a tie.

Thou shalt most certainly NOT change clothes/make up/reading a book/newspaper while driving.
Hmmmm, it’s interesting to see someone changing their shirt and even bra…they must be pretty talented…I can barely do that in the bedroom. Make up…come on….if you late…go in zits and all….you can always put that on during working hours and get paid for it. Let me not for get the guys…don’t use the electric shaver/read the paper as you commute to the J.O.B. it’s not like the Tulsa World is a newspaper worth reading!

Thou shalt NOT take up two parking spots.
If you don’t want scratches on your car…don’t buy a shinny new car. Get over it…besides I know when opening my door, it’s hard not to…(I try really hard if I see someone in the car though!)

Thou shalt NOT peel out of a busy QuikTrip as if you are Jeff Gordon at Texas Motor Speedway.
The peel out also goes along with the LOUD MUSAK. Why do people think I want to hear or feel the vibrations of the mega speakers. (boy I sound like I’m old) And of course, peeling out of the driving way to leave the rubber tracks behind the spinners tires.

Thou shalt NOT drive on 169 in the left lane at 55 mph.
It is a usually OLDER person who shouldn’t be driving on the expressway in the first place. If you can’t at least go the speed limit…. STAY IN THE FAR RIGHT LANE.

Thou shalt BE courteous and use the TURN SIGNALS.
Again, I’m not so sure people know what that lever is for. I’m sure they wonder why their car has that gadget. If you are going to turn left…use it and after the turn, TURN IT OFF…nothing like having someone’s blinker on continuous not know if and when they might migrate into another lane.

Thou shalt NOT stop in the middle of the road for EMSA/FIRE TRUCKS/POLICE.
Panic sets in to anyone who sees or hears the sirens blaring…why do you want to stop in the middle of the road? Pull over to the right hand side and let the vehicle pass by…it just might be someone you know!!

Thou shalt NOT TALK ON THE DANG PHONE WITH ONLY ONE HAND ON THE WHEEL!!!!
My biggest pet peeve out of everything…what would people do without the contraption to their ear…or the blue tooth philosophy of talking to yourself. And how in the world do people text while driving? I usually pull over because I’m just not as talented I guess.

Minimum Wage

So it is just ALL about the money!!

I read in the AP news today that Corporate CEO’s are making more than even professional athletes…Don’t we all wish to even dream about all that…but the article went on…

“The high cost of chief executive pay has drawn criticism in recent years as salaries rose, stock options paid off like lottery jackpots, and perks like chauffeured cars and private jets spread…”

Perks…I like the perk that I get to get up 5 days a week and smile the entire day and after taxes….hmmm I just know I need to be thankful for a job. Makes me wonder though…I think our school has to post salaries (but of course not with names…but come on…there is only on superintendent…and his salary…is FAR more than mine….but WHAT are HIS perks I wonder…I know he gets a school car (nice car and probably a newer one then the rest of the school cars)…he gets a scooter – you got it…a rascal to the rescue…guess I shouldn’t complain too much…but then he’s retiring this year…wonder what his retirement benefits look like?)

“If the minimum wage had risen at the same pace as CEO pay since 1990, it would be worth $22.61 today, according to the Institute for Policy Studies. Instead, the federal minimum wage will increase to $5.85 an hour on July 24, the first increase in a decade.”

Can you imagine $22.61/hour….

unbelievable….

that would be a really good incentive for me to want to work…maybe then I wouldn’t have to worry about working until I die…because right now, I’ll be 90 y/o before I can qualified for Social Security’s…and even then…medical coverage is IFy!

go FLY a kite

Today was a very weird day...I felt like a kid flying a kite in Rock Creek park....

I had a dentist appt to fill a cavity...ugh (but really not painful with all the Novocain) then drooled my way to my PreOp...sitting in the waiting room...answering the stupid admit papers....and one question "Do you have any anxiety about the surgery?" I thought "are you kidding me?" So does that mean its a 50-50 question to ask? I would like to think everyone (who is honest) would say "YES" to that question. and while being ushered here to talk to this nurse or that Anesthesiologist and of course the blood lady...

I left the hospital, it was already getting hot...and I look up and saw a baby elephant...and had to smile (very rare for me) all around me was the puffy white clouds of home...animals and cotton candy clouds... (this is unusual formations in Oklahoma - most of the time it's one huge cloud (wall cloud and its tornadic) As I drove to work I played the cloud game...it made the whole theme of the day seem better.

But by the time I left work...the cotton candy had left and all that was left were flat grey clouds...with no silver lining....

"God doesn't only have one phone line,"

"God doesn't only have one phone line," says Avery, age 10.

Apparently, Avery has never heard a busy signal when praying.

We've all experienced the unavailability of important people.

We may think God is too busy to listen to the details of our lives, but God is the perfect father.

He takes special delight when his children come to him in prayer.

it's been a bad night

Its been a bad day, you've been looking back
And all you can see is everything you wish you could take back
All your mistakes, a world of regrets
All of those moments you would rather forget
I know it's hard to believe
Let me refresh your memory

Yesterday is history
And history is miles away
So leave it all behind you
Let it always remind you of the day
The day that love made history
You know you can't stay right where you fell
The hardest part is forgiving yourself
But let's take a walk into today
And don't let your past get in the way

with tears in his eyes..............

soooooooooooo my husband comes into the living room with one shoe on and one sock.....the look on his face that scared me........he went back to the bedroom

In tears of pain running down his cheek, the look he gave i didn't see my husband...he had never shown me that side very often...it scared me...

pain....physically -- his arms were numb and yet hurting really bad...emotionally -- not being able to tie his shoe or put the other shoe on...his weight and dejected self esteem from being morbily obese.........the pain in his eyes, SCARED ME!

How to FORGET life sucks

http://www.a1b2c3.com/suilodge/metfor1.htm#top

Jason Farnon: How many times have you said this to yourself? Things just suck, people are stupid. You haven't washed in a while and are probably better off dead…Here are some methods of passing the time until you die. They have been tested and proven to work. No guess work involved here... have fun.

1) Sleep
2) Foreign Substances
3) Find Companionship
4) Clubs
5) Hit Your Head Against the Wall
6) Get a Job
7) Fun With Your Bladder
8) Destroy People Who Suck More Than You
9) Offend People
10) IRC
11) Stare at a Picture of Tori Amos
12) Install Hardware and Play Old Wares
13) Kill Yourself
14) Stare at the Wall
15) Write Textfiles

little sunshine

My intuitive cousin, Kent Anderson Butler, has created a "video" of my childhood when I was between 2 & 3. At this time in my life, I was living with my family in Staten Island, NY where my dad was attending Electronics school for this job. My dad was in the coast guard.

Kent, who is about 6 years younger than me...was & is a strange person but then I really didn't know him. You see, he lived in California with his mom (my dad's sister) and step dad all of his life. I lived mostly in Maryland.

The funny thing is that my aunt called me about a month ago and told me what my cousin was completing. The call was more of an FYI thing then asking for permission. My dad used to send my grandparents reel-to-reel home movies of all us growing up. Kent found a box when they were cleaning out my grandparent’s home.

While if asked, I wouldn't have said no....it does make me a little worried when you read the blurb...

“….explores the realm of childhood experience ranging from the wonderful and joyous to moments of sheer terror. These early experiences usually become etched into memory, often remaining as vivid and visual as the day they were first experienced…”