In a blink of an eye...

time goes by...in my own little world, in my own little story...I forget the big picture. I think I don't want to be me but then who would I be? I'm I pretending again to be what people want me to be? Do I expect more and give less? Can't there be some pill or drink to get rid of the black and white thought processing nightmare! Oh the drama I play out in my head...the scenes or retakes over and over again. I'm just waiting for someone to yell cut! As the tears flow for no apparent reason, I sit and stare at the monitor. Words on the screen and reading between the lines...am I better or worse? In a blink of an eye all could be gone...my emotional hurricane. Why do I constinely think I can do this on my own...where does God fit in? Why am I so stubborn and proud?