Intellectual Polarization (Black & White)

What else is there to do but when looking for information but to google. My first impression is that white is good and pure therefore black is bad and dark. My first google took me to the artist’s point of view. Yes there is black and yes there is white but it all plays together with shadows. What are my shadows? Are all the shadows the parts of real life? Ahhhh I found the key source: black & white thoughts. “Always" and "never," polar opposite words, tend to characterize the vocabulary. Black and white thinking means seeing the world only in terms of extremes. If things aren't "perfect," then they must be "horrible." I feel like I’m living in a soap opera world. (key the music)

So if I am reading some of what I’ve googled then under duress, I often regress to primitive thinking. I guess I'm regressing to primitive thinking when I am having a hard time and feel overwhelmed by my own emotions. So emotions are everything but yet you’re not supposed to trust your emotions. (emotions = bad / intellectual = good) So I have to ask myself some questions:

Can I be basically an intelligent person and still do something stupid?
Can my husband love me but sometimes be insensitive?
Can one part of my life be difficult and other parts be easier and more enjoyable?
Can a part of my life be difficult now but in the future get easier?
Can some parts of an experience be awful and other parts of it be OK?

I think I’ve believed for a long time that "I'm just not the sort of person other people like." So therefore I want to prove myself. It’s like “OK everyone” “Let’s take a vote to see what Dora should feel here” I’m a human being the last time I check. While googling, I found the following rules:


The Rules for Being Human
1. You will receive a body.
You may like or hate it, but it will be yours for the entire period this time around.

2. You will learn lessons.
You are enrolled in a full time informal school called life. Each day in this school you will have the opportunity to learn lessons. You may like the lessons or think them irrelevant and stupid.

3. There are no mistakes, only lessons.
Growth is a process of trial and error experimentation. The "failed" experiments are as much a part of the process as the experiment that ultimately "works."

4. A lesson is repeated until learned.
A lesson will be presented to you in various forms until you have learned it. When you have learned it, you can go on to the next lesson.

5. Learning lessons does not end.
There is not part of life that does not contain its lessons. If you are alive, there are lessons to be learned.

6. "There" is no better than "here".
When your "there" has become a "here", you will simply obtain another "there" that will, again, look better than "here".

7. Others are merely mirrors for you.
You cannot love or hate something about another person unless it reflects something you love or hate about yourself.

8. What you make of your life is up to you.
You have all the tools and resources you need, what you do with them is up to you. The choice is yours.

9. Your answers lie inside you.
The answers to life's questions lie inside you. All you need to do is look, listen, and trust.

10. You will forget all this!

In what I read over the last hour, I've seen that it's the number 2-9 that count more the just black or just white. Now applying it to every day living and focusing on it is the challenge.