Well, it's been a while since I could blog. A part of me is anxious about readjusting into my life again. I've been at rest (sort of) for the last 10 days. This was a different experience. I actually had other people who didn't know me actually care about me and what I was thinking. I didn't feel like I was 38 anymore but I didn't know what age I was. I had time to reflect on who I am. I was journalling about what was going on each day almost like a daily diary which I've never done that before. Maybe I'll type it out and turn it into a blog-a-thon...but that's for another time and another place (blog)!!
So who is in control? what is control...right now...I'm in control...I'm anxious about this weekend. I'm going to my sister's graduation and I haven't seen my family for about 3 years. First of all, they haven't seen me since I've lost so much weight. Secondly, I'm still alot emotional that I'm afraid I'm not going to keep it together for long. The last 10 days showed me how much I am fragile. I cry and probably always will cry. To top of the weekend my brother-in-law surprised me that he wanted to pay for me to fly to Dallas instead of me driving. He doesn't know how difficult this weeks have been and I guess I appreciate it. That's pretty hard for me because I really don't get along with my bil. He really makes fun of me and it does hurt my feelings so how I'm supposed to take him this weekend is going to be interesting. I thought I might be up front and say...I can't take it but then I'd have to explain or maybe I don't. Only time will tell.
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