or is it a personality crisis? I don't know the difference any more. I'm doing all the right things but they all seem so wrong. I'm jittery this afternoon. Still taken care of a sick husband (has the flu and thinks he's dying) to doing 3 loads of laundry, dishes in the sink...and gerenal house cleaning stuff (I stopped at vacumning!) And I still need to clean out the kitty litter...ewwwweee.
"I'm doing all the right things...and it seems so wrong" where does that logic come into play? Where does that leave me? "I'm doing all the right things" how do I know they are the "right" things in the first place? Do I deserve to be out among others? I'm I just crazy in my head and outward appearances are projecting a better imagine that I can't live up to? Why then does "it seem so wrong" to be doing what people tell me is right?
You know there is one thing I know is still wrong....I haven't really had anything to laugh about. I mean I really miss the chance to laugh without thinking about it. I actually have a very unique laugh but I haven't heard it in so long...is it still there?
I know it's just the afternoon but I'm trying to decide whether or not to go out tonight. I'm still in my pj's. I need to go to the store and get some more soup for my husband....and will he want me to be gone from him if I do go to this meeting.
Why do I dread the meeting? I know I'm not any better then some that are there...but I just don't think anyone gets me there. They don't know how bad I really am...I may seem to have it all together....but I don't. It goes back to personal crisis. Can I just hold on to one more day?
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