Productive Member of society...

Ok...lately I'm not much of a tv watcher but I've got just a few shows that entice me to watch. One is The 4400. I don't know if it's the science fiction or if it could be possible...it just means we were all created for a purpose. My purpose from the government standard would mean I am the perfect productive member of society...I work, I pay taxes, I spend money (most of the time too much), and I my own (mortaged) home. Even on the personal/emotional side I guess I'm functioning at least at average or better...(means I'm not sitting by the window drooling but doesn't mean I don't want to do that sometimes!) Physically...I could exercise more and loss a few more pounds but for the most part...I'm health...don't get me wrong...I have the usually aches and pains and sometimes then some...I also have the distructive side but that's for another time and another place...with co-dependant tendancies...I sometimes wonder what is the society I'm trying to be a productive memeber of? Do I really want to fit in and not be notice? Am I just living on the sidelines or visitor's stands just watching life play out? When did I decide to give up playing? Do I want to play? All these thoughts from a tv show with little reality bases and me trying to personalize it to fit into what I perceive my little world could/might/should be. How bizzar!