Chocolate...

chocolate, chocolate, CHOCOLATE! I admittly ate too much chocolate for my own good...maybe it's replacing the other urges I'm having but boy, it's making me sick as a dog...it's been 10 minutes and I don't think it's going to stay much longer in my stomach. I guess I need to explain just one more confession. Almost 8 months ago I had gastric bypass -- not admitting I had an eating disorder and I am sticking to that story. So here I am, craving for chocolate...needing to punish something...might as well be my stomach! It's better then last night urges to hit but it's about the same release. Or somewhat the same. Control...generally I can control what I eat, when I eat, where I eat, & who I eat in front of. (see I told you I didn't have a eating disorder) ok..give me a minute or two...round one is done. Oh this was a bad choice...I don't know if I can handle throwing up with my incision. Bad, bad, bad, BAD mistake. Breathing hurts.