I should be happy...

nascar started...Jeff Gordan won...Tony Stewart was a sore loser...Whatelse could I ask for today? I don't know. In church I sat and listened to the pastor. Very good topic probably ment more for me then I'd admit. The Deadly D's - depression, discouragement, dispair, doubt, distractions...that pretty much sums up what I think my life is now and trying to change it is very hard and a lot more work then I wished it was. When you have to deal with yourself, you actually have to admit things - good, bad and the ugly. Most people when they meet me wouldn't think that I'd be going through this diffculties...I am pretty good at pretending everything is ok...it's only if you take the time to know me that you recognize my moods, emotions, and negative thinking. I am consistantly reminding myself daily that God is love and that God's love is for even me.That's the hope in all of the deadly D's -- GOD'S LOVE. He can change the depressed thoughts, the discuragements I feel, the hopeless dispair at nights, doubt's that I'm not worth of his love and the day to day distractions the devil throws my way. One of my questions from my devotional journal was: Imagine that God is standing in the midst of your battle with a sign that says: WIN OR LOSE, YOU'LL GET HOME SAFE AND SOUND, JUST KEEP UP THE GOOD FIGHT! and the question was: What difference would that make in your battle? It should make all the difference but it gives me hope that there is someone else on my side when I feel all alone in the battle by myself, with myself.