Obsession.....

Ok...obsessing and rethinking...want to Email; don't want to email this one person...why...don't want the response I'm assuming I'd get back...should I email...I don't know..want to email really bad but afraid of the response. Is that good enough of an excuse? I'm overly thinking this way too much. I've got to change...I just get so stuck in a routine. What good would come from emailing? They'd know what I was thinking? Do I really want them to know what I'm thinking? Oh but to be alone with the thoughts...it's about about changing how and what I think. I think email is part of be accountable for my thoughts. When I keep them to myself, I'm alone with them. If I write the thoughts out either in an email or this blog, then it's out there for someone else to read. I may not get comments but I know it's out in public or so cyber public. Oh how much I want to email but I think I'd be emailing for all the wrong reasons. How do I find the right reasons? What would God think of the right reasons would be? When I put in that terms, email isn't necessary. He knows what I'm thinking -- should I be looking for his responses to my thoughts instead of another person? Isn't it God who I want to please first?